sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
