I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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