sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
