Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
