Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
