Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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