she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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