I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
