sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize