yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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