now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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