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Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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