You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
