We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
