I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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