I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
