I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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