Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
