Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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