I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
