if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
