I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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