Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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