I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
