just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
NoShamevember. You game?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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