I'm going to jail i love you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
