my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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