It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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