My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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