is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
