i think i have herpe
just one?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
