He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants