If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?