Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.