The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant