I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.