Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
