my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
