I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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