I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
