Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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