White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
