her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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