saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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