you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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