One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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