Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
