marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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