do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My dick has a subreddit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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