last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
