Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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