its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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