did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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