we're chasing vodka with high fives
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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