In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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