she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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