I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize