My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
