Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need to calm my uterus...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize