Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
