he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Your cock deserves a montage
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize