The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This baby is an asshole
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
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