Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize