and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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