remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
