Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
