halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
