Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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